MAJOR LIFE UPDATE!!! I Didn’t Get the Job

This post contains affiliate links, for more info see our disclaimer.

We have all had the pleasure of scrolling through social media and running across the “I’m incredibly excited to announce…” or the “Major Life Update” post. What follows is usually someone shouting from the hilltops that they just landed their dream job, they are moving to a new city, got married, bought a house, or are having kids. The more you extend your network, the more frequently these posts come across your feed. And while you are always happy to see your friends succeed, sometimes it can just feel like “When am I going to get my piece of the pie?” Especially if it’s been a while since you had one of your own “Major Late Breaking Life Update!!!” proclamations.

Seeing everyone else have a great day on social media isn’t anything new. Chances are someone in your network is doing something cooler than you are today, even if you aren’t seeing the other 500 people doing dishes and mowing the lawn just like you are. 

But, ponder for a moment if the unthinkable happens. What if you have been applying for a job and prepping your own “Incredibly blessed to announce” post and you…*gasp*… DON’T get the job! 

Shit. Is that possible? What the hell? I put everything I have into getting this job. I prepped! I planned! I used the perfect 11 point Helvetica font! I had my resume and cover letter individually delivered by carrier pigeon on parchment colored linen paper! Nobody else does that! I stalked the hiring official on social media until I discovered that they too have an affinity for Vuori dress shirts, which I purchased so I had a talking point for the interview! 

Now you aren’t going to hire me? Bastards!

As you can see, I may have had some experience in this department and although I may have used the interview as an excuse to buy the Vuori shirt, not the other way around, I have certainly had the emotions bubble up when things didn’t turn out the way I planned. The good news is there are plenty of things you can take away from an unsuccessful attempt at landing a job. Here are things you can do immediately in the aftermath of a rejection.

Give Yourself Space to Be Emotional

Getting rejected is hard and the first instinct is to hit back or seek feedback right away. The ultimate question we are trying to find out is WHY? Resist that urge to seek feedback, at least until you are able to fully process the rejection and the emotions calm down. The reality is that it sucks! Depending upon your personality, you might react or try to cope with it in different ways. Some people try to push it out of their head and put all of their effort into something else. Others will seek some recreational time away. 

One way that I feel is best for me is to allow myself to acknowledge that this isn’t a pleasant feeling and just let it be. I usually resort to throwing myself my very own, customized, completely for me, pity party. Complete with rebellious music and multiple flavors of Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels. I recommend the cinnamon and sugar.

While this sort of grieving can be very productive to sift through those emotions, it is important to set a time limit and after that point, pick yourself up off the mat and move on. While this moment certainly sucks, you don’t want a situation where you turn it into a belief that your entire life is this way. There is a very high probability that is not true.

The Next Actions You Take Are Paramount

This next section is particularly true if you applied for a job and got rejected at your current place of employment. The next actions you take could determine if you ever have an opportunity for promotion again. 

If you are a decent employee and didn’t get an internal promotion, there is a good chance that the hiring official also had a hard time with the decision. More on this in the next section, but let’s suppose that you are doing everything that is being asked of you in your job and more and your boss actually doesn’t have a personal vendetta against you. There are some things you can do to improve your chances of getting the next job right away.

Nobody likes awkward tension…

See, even those three blank lines made your neck hair stand up a bit. The first thing you can do is to break the silence first. Even if you don’t want to come out and directly say “No hard feelings!” your actions can do the talking for you. Check in with the boss and ask them how they are doing. Start a conversation about something outside of work. Anything that brings back normalcy and cuts the tension will do the trick.

Next, make sure to go all in on your next scheduled tasks. You want the hiring official to second guess their choice and leave no doubt that you are the next choice when that opportunity comes around again. Taking the opposite approach and not performing as a penalty for not being given the promotion will guarantee you never get one again.

If your rejection occurred offsite, it’s much easier. After the emotions settle, send a follow up asking for feedback. Try to get either a virtual or in person face to face meeting. This takes extra effort and shows extra effort. Remember you aren’t just looking for feedback for a possible future opportunity, but you can also benefit from this person vouching for you if they come across something else that could be a good fit for you elsewhere. Do NOT burn any bridges even if the possibility of you crossing this one again is remote. You’d be surprised.

Realize There is Plenty You Can’t Control

Most hiring processes are more complicated that what is on the surface. There are plenty of times when you put yourself in the best position to succeed and you still don’t get the job. Like Annie Duke says in her book “Thinking in Bets”,  “Life is like poker, you can have the best hand and still lose.” Highly recommend the book by the way.

There are so many things in the hiring process you can’t control. Is there a specific need in the workplace the hiring official needs to fill that doesn’t fit your skillset? Are there veteran’s preferences, or someone that needs to transfer in for medical reasons? There are a billion things out of your control, the only thing you can do is take care of your piece of the equation.

Timing and competition also plays a role. Someone less qualified than you can get a job sooner in a less desirable location. Maybe you were up against a lot of competition this time around and next time not so much. In the end, there are probably more things you have no control over than those that you do. Worry about what you can control.

There is Value in Experiencing the Process

Remember, you don’t get NOTHING out of being rejected for a job. You get the experience of going through the hiring process, and if you are planning to do it again with that organization (or even if you aren’t) there is plenty to take away from the experience. 

First, every interview you do is practice for the next one. There is nothing like live experience. I can sit here and tell you what to do to improve your interview skills, but until you are in the hot seat, you aren’t really practicing. In a live setting, you get nervous, your heart rate spikes, your brain clouds over and it’s infinitely harder to think. Practicing live interviews gives you the chance to see how your body is going to react and allows you to come up with strategies on how to deal with those factors next time

Second, you gain valuable information. Not only about the place you are applying to and the people who are hiring you, but about yourself too. You learn if you tend to ramble during answers. If you rock back and forth or wring your hands. This is your chance to improve all of that. You learn more about what the employers are looking for and what kinds of questions they are going to ask. All of these things are coins in the experience bank that by investing in this hiring process, will give you valuable returns later.

Find 1% Improvement in All Aspects of Your Application

Finally, the hard truth is that there are things that you can improve for next time. James Clear writes about finding 1% improvement in everything you do in his bestselling book Atomic Habits. Can the cover letter be better? A good cover letter will have about 4 to 5 drafts before it’s truly in game shape. Did you provide enough on the resume to keep them wanting more? Or did you sell yourself short? One of the hardest things for many is to talk about themselves in a positive light. Or asking ourselves if something we did “really counts.”  

Let me tell you, there are plenty of dodgy sheisters out there who are less qualified than you that are putting garbage on their resume that doesn’t hold water in the interview. If you think it’s relevant and you can back it up in an interview, put it on there. 

Finally, I’ll give you one power tip to having complete control over your application. Build a personal portfolio on your own website. Even if you aren’t a web developer, you can use services like wix.com to put something together. The advantage of this is that you can put the link right in your resume and cover letter.

Once the hiring official is on your site, you are now in complete control of how you present yourself. You aren’t bound by the simple resume and cover letter that everyone else is doing. Now you can present pictures, videos showing how you verbally communicate or present yourself on camera. You can showcase samples of your work and all the amazing things you have done to get to this point. Let me tell you, as a hiring official, after reading through 50 applications that look exactly the same, you can get a real advantage on the competition with a personal website. Not a lot of people are doing it.

Remember That Your Day Will Come

At the end of the day remember that everyone experiences the disappointment of not getting a job. The emotions you experience afterwards are completely normal and expected. One final tip. Share in joy of your friends who are getting their moment. They are in your network for a reason and there is a good chance you aren’t all that different. Use it to uplift and propel you forward. Keep the points provided in the back of your mind and you will be that much closer to the next big chapter in your life.

It might just have you posting, “I’m thrilled and incredibly enamored to announce….” 

Before you go…

If this content resonates with you, subscribe to our newsletter and join our community! We will give you updated content each week and a small actionable leadership challenge to level up your emotional intelligence and practice the human skills that we use every day to thrive.

Our community grows best by word of mouth. If there is someone you thought of while reading this, please share it with them and encourage them to become a part of our community.

Your support means everything to us to keep our subscriptions free! Please consider buying us a cup of coffee to keep us going! After all, there isn’t anything a good shot of caffeine can’t do. We couldn’t do what we do without your support and generosity. Thank you for making us stronger! We appreciate it!